This weekend in America's Finest City over 150,000 people will converge on San Diego to celebrate sci-fi related popular culture. ComicCon has been sold out for months, and geeks (a term of respect) of all types and varieties will cram into SD Convention Center halls in a celebration of the old (Batman has turned 70) and the new blockbuster movies out of Hollywood.
Part of the fun is Cosplay- dressing up as characters in sci-fi and comic books. Now, If you've been keeping up with my blog (or at least read past entries) you have the tools to pro-actively avoid a DUI after partaking in a zombie walk or having shots at a Star Trek themed bar. But there are still some tips which may assist you if lightening strikes 4 times in a row and you end up talking to a sleestak- or the law. (FYI- lightening strikes 4 times in a row all the time).
Cat Eyes, Bulls Eyes, Eye Patches
The initial test is always the HGN, even if done improperly and summarily while the driver is seated in his car. However, contact lenses interfere with this test. So if you are covering up your brown eyes with blue, or some alien design, be sure to inform the officer. Often, cops will use this test to get a driver out of the car, so make sure he has all information.
Don't Step on Superman's Cape
This may seem redundant, but if you are asked to perform field sobriety tests (which you should never do, unless SURE you are below the legal limit and not impaired) take off any accouterments to your costume that may get in your way. Take the cape off before you do the one leg stand, because not even the Karate Kid could do the one leg kick thing with stuff in the way. Zoro and swashbucklers can jump off tables with a hearty laugh, but if that sword gets in the way the walk and turn may be difficult.
Dammit Jim, I'm a Doctor not a Magician
Do not take for granted that these tests are easy. For instance, the Romberg test. This one asks you to tilt your head back 45 degrees, close your eyes and estimate 30 seconds (which I fail at regularly). How about you make it easier for yourself and take off the Darth Vader helmet, Klingon head gear, or Princess Leia wig. Cops will be evaluating you not only for your estimate of time, but also how well you balance.
Resistance is Futile
As usual, be polite and respectful, but do not incriminate yourself. If you had some funky blue stuff served in a test tube, don't deny it, but don't admit it. Cops know lying- like that Next Generation counselor. Further, lying now will hurt you later when the time police look back at your actions and accuse you of lying. Thus, when the Storm Troopers ask, do not lie, but respond "I prefer not to answer that question." Don't let them force it out of you, because like the Force, you are surrounded by constitutional rights.
You're Not in Kansas Anymore
Enjoy our fair city, but please be safe and smart. Carry an emergency $50 in your wallet for transportation services only. But don't incriminate yourself. Funny thing is, regardless what happens (hopefully all good) you may need a real life superhero- a defense attorney. And if you do, always hire a specialist and I always offer in state and out of state free consultations in person or over the phone.
